If your hubby was mentally and emotionally unstable and cussed you, your kids but overall was a good man, what would you do?

  • Leave, no one would cuss me

  • Stay, he might just be having a hard time at the moment

  • suggest conseling

  • something else

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Submitted by at 11:49 AM on Dec. 14, 2008
Votes (127) Comments (11)

If your hubby was mentally and emotionally unstable and cussed you, your kids but overall was a good man, what would you do?

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Submitted by at 11:49 AM on Dec. 14, 2008
Votes (127) Comments (11)


  • justanothe...
    Submitted by   at 4:28 PM on December 14, 2008

    Actually it is the opposite in our house. I'm the mentally/emotionally unstable one and my husband stands by me and helps me through the rough times. He ignores me when I go off on him and then holds me when I cry. I think I would be dead now if it wasn't for him. He has gotten me through some dark times.

  • unicorndre...
    Submitted by   at 6:09 PM on December 14, 2008

    I have done that for years but it is only making him worse. He calls my kids names, me names, yells and screams at us all the time and I am just at the point of leaving. I dont need this mental abuse and neither do my kids.

  • mesmoreyez...
    Submitted by   at 6:42 PM on December 14, 2008

    If he is that bad, you need to seriously evaluate the big picture. My stepfather was that way and to this day I find it hard to forgive my mother for not divorcing him sooner than she did. There are going to be serious emotional problems with your kids if you continue to allow this to happen. I think you should leave and tell him if he won't make a commitment to change you will not be coming back.

  • lovebnmomm...
    Submitted by   at 9:59 PM on December 14, 2008

    I'm emotionally unstabble too and my guy is mentally unstabble. I have been with him for 8 years and we have went thru a lot together. He sticks by me when I yell and scream at him over the stupid stuff and sometimes he'll love me back but mostly he'll make me madder by saying something that pisses me off. I say just stick with him tell him that the name calling is getting old and you don't have to put up with his rants. Its your children who have to live with it later and he may get so mad at you for something and hurt them. My hubby's sisters ex husband was a good father till he showed his true side when his kids were 5 or so. He was a total a-hole and mean to her hitting her and actually smacking the children around when he got mad. They are divorsed after being with each other for over 8 years and he STILL calls her names, even us and I have never met the dude.
    If you man is calling you and the kids names he is going to keep doing that. He knows your weakness and what makes you even madder. I personally don't like counciling and don't see the point to spend loads of money when he may never change. It is up to you tho.

  • lipstickcl...
    Submitted by   at 8:23 PM on December 15, 2008

    I'm a little unstable myself, but there's a difference between having mental illness issues and being verbally abusive to your spouse and kids by yelling at them a lot or cussing at them. That kind of behavior is never okay, and how well a person treats their partner and kids is a measure of how good of a person they really are.

  • jlemaycox
    Submitted by   at 8:35 PM on December 19, 2008

    If he was cussing at me that would be one thing. I might tollerate it to a point and understand that he has issues. But I would never allow him to cuss at my children. That would be the beginning of a big arguement. That would not happen. If it did repeatedly then he would be out the door. I will not tollerate anyone abusing my children whether it is physically, sexually, emotionally, or verbally. He really needs help. My hubby has at times been unstable to because he is bipolar, but never said anything innapropriate to our children.

  • Texmonkey
    Submitted by   at 1:17 AM on December 21, 2008

    Your obligation is to your children, that type of behaviour is very damaging to kids and you will lose your sense of self if it continues. Get the hell out of there, he needs help. The next step is likely physical violence.

  • momof2copl...
    Submitted by   at 2:17 PM on December 22, 2008

    My husband is a severe alcoholic. There has been times when he has been as mean as satin himself and I tell the kids "you see what alcohol does to people" I did my best to get my kids out of the path of the storm by putting them in their rooms with toys or crafts then I deverted my husband somewhere else at least tried. My husband no longer drinks lots of prayer on that one. Its your job as a mom to do what you think is best. If its because he is sick then you need to figure out how to make him better, but I have always thought that the kids come first.

  • mab05
    Submitted by   at 4:22 PM on January 1, 2009

    My husband is bipolar. He was forced into getting help and it has helped him soooooo much! He is a million times better when on meds, he's the guy i fell in love with.
    But before he was terrible when he was having trouble.... but i think if he were to take his shit out on our kids i would have to remove my children from that. They don't deserve that kind of treatment. I would leave for sure.

  • x_sabine_x
    Submitted by   at 2:00 AM on January 2, 2009

    I would not be with a man who was that mentally/emotionally unstable.

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