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Me and my man have been together for 8 years now and wanting to get married. Thru the years we have had our rough and worst fights. He left me twice in the beginning and cheated on me with a family member. Then recently I found out he was into something very bad and that I know other women would have left him by now. He really isn't that good looking to most women when they meet him, but I think he is cute. Since our baby was born in April we have had very rough times and today I kept thinking what am I doing with him. I love him and I know I'm not with him for our child, but I just don't think I'm inlove with him. He won't show me affection, even if I strip in front of him, he'll say he's tired but after 1 hour I find him jacking off to porn. That made me mad. Then a few days ago he was chatting jacking off and saying he wasn't. I'm feeling really disrespected that he lied and he did that knowing I'm horny. Now he said lets make a date for us to get married. Would you?

Would you get married if you went thru this?

  • Yes I'll get married if I truly love him, but if he doesn't do what he usually does.

    0%
  • No why be with that man. There are better men out there girl.

    63%
  • I wouldn't marry anyone unless I knew I could be with always.

    14%
  • He's weird get away from him.

    16%
  • other...

    5%
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Anonymous
Submitted by Anonymous at 7:04 PM on Dec. 18, 2008
Votes (118) Comments (10)

Would you get married if you went thru this?

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Anonymous
Submitted by Anonymous at 7:04 PM on Dec. 18, 2008
Votes (118) Comments (10)

Comments

  • Anonymous
    Submitted by Anonymous   at 8:02 PM on December 18, 2008

    If you're having ANY doubts, then don't marry him. What's the rush anyway? It's just a piece of paper... one that will complicate your life more if you think you might leave him anyway.

  • Anonymous
    Submitted by Anonymous   at 9:27 PM on December 18, 2008

    i agree its just a piece of paper. really marriage doesnt make anything better. he might be like my cousins husband. things got worse after they were married cuz he thought he " had her." they've been together for 7 years. only married for 2. he was going to move out this week. he ignores her. she left him once before and he didnt change when she came back. she said he doesnt try to make her happy anymore. if you marry him he might think you'll put up with anything. my husband was infatuated with a secretary at one of his jobs. it was really hard for him to hide. well he started saying things like "you would never leave me, you would still wanna be with me etc. it was something about if we split up. i said i'd still love you but i would hate you at the same time. and he had the balls to say "so you'd never leave no matter what i did?" i said "i didnt say that at all!" he got nervous. a few months later he said his boss told him he was going to tell me he was cheating. i said " why would he say that?" his reply was "he just wants to sleep with you" WTH? that was 4 years ago. i still pick apart everything he says. he thinks the weirdest things. i do have him where i want him for now. every job he has, there is a questionable female. i dont know what his problem is. not sure if hes cheated but he definately crosses the line with trying to impress them. it was like this before we were married too. hold off woman. dont feel more stuck to him than you have to.

  • Anonymous
    Submitted by Anonymous   at 1:01 PM on December 19, 2008

    Ask yourself this question, "Is this the way I want my life to be in 1 yr? 5 yrs? 10 yrs.? 20 yrs?" If the answer is "no", get out now. Nothing will change for the better if you get married. It will only get worse.

  • Anonymous
    Submitted by Anonymous   at 5:07 PM on December 19, 2008

    WTF it doesn't sound like he has any good qualities to offer, why the hell would you waste your time with a creep like that? He sounds totally nasty.

  • Anonymous
    Submitted by Anonymous   at 9:56 PM on December 19, 2008

    I posted this poll: I'm glad to get everyones advice and learn what you all experienced. Second comment person I'm sorry you and your cousin went thru the heartache of your men. As for doubts I have I was thinking earlier and told my man after he got off work "why am I with someone like you?" There was a show on at the same time that had women who are worse than me treating their men wrongly. I told him is that what you want when I leave? No if I leave but when I do. He looked like he's already lost something and he told me he's sorry. I think it is BS because when we argue and fight he shows affection then or later in the next few days, not when he wants to. I know marriage is nothing but a paper and commentment, but I knew when I met him I'll be with him always. I felt that from the beginning. I'm beginning to think to myself my life is not going to get better, even if I don't marry him.

    Last comment poster, you said
    Submitted by Anonymous at 5:07 PM on December 19, 2008 WTF it doesn't sound like he has any good qualities to offer, why the hell would you waste your time with a creep like that? He sounds totally nasty.

    For an answer I love him, we have a son and that made our relationship better somewhat, and why I would waist my time with him I'm not sure. One thing is that we signed a lease on a new place we live in now and have this place for a year, secondly we have bills together and things we have gotten thru the years, and last he works harder than any guy I know. As far as females at work the only ones that there is are customers and most of them even them not knowing I am his girl I would see them tell him what they want done to their car and walk away b4 he asks for a number. Most the guys up there ask women for their numbers and stuff. I don't think he would cheat on me with a customer or I'm hoping he wouldn't. No females work up there. Anyways I do feel like things are not going to get better for us, but I keep wanting it to. Thank you for everyones imput.

  • Anonymous
    Submitted by Anonymous   at 11:56 AM on December 24, 2008

    He's ugly and a cheater? Aww hell nooooooo! You must have mental problems to still be putting up with him.

  • Anonymous
    Submitted by Anonymous   at 11:04 AM on December 27, 2008

    Work things out. Even if he cheated and you are having problems. Things could look better and it is hard to trust someone all over again.

  • Anonymous
    Submitted by Anonymous   at 8:00 AM on January 5, 2009

    Being "in love" usually doesn't last for more than 2 years on tops (though I know there are exceptions). Actual "love" is what replaces the "in love" feeling. That's why I don't understand why so many people break up because they're not in love... isn't the actual deep love something so much more better? Though I suppose I can understand the thrill of the "in love" state.... but if you forever seek for the "in love" feeling, you'll never find a "man for the rest of your life", only a "man for right now".

  • Anonymous
    Submitted by Anonymous   at 7:03 PM on January 7, 2009

    ITS NOT REALLY THE FACT THAT THERE ARE BETTER MEN OUT THERE BUT ITS HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT YOURSELF. THIS MAN HAS SOME SERIOUS ISSUES. I WOULDN'T MARRY HIM MUCH LESS BE WITH HIM. JUST BECAUSE YOU LOVE HIM DOESN'T MEAN YOU BELONG TOGETHER. YOU DESERVE BETTER AND TRUST ME IF YOU ARE HAVING DOUBTS NOW IT WON'T GET ANY BETTER. WHAT ELSE IS HE DOING THAT YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW ABOUT?. TRUST YOUR WOMEN INTUITION, GOD GAVE US THAT FOR A REASON.

  • Anonymous
    Submitted by Anonymous   at 8:53 PM on January 9, 2009

    Let his ass go!!!! Stay single for a year or two and then let someone find you. Jeez!!!!! Why would you sacrifice yourself for someone who not only wacks it with porn when he KNOWS you wantit to. AND "chats" on the phone and does it! Make a date to get married??? Have your hormones gone so far off that you are blinding yourself!!!! Tell me you love yourself more than all that CRAP!

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