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I have a boyfriend, and I like him A LOT!!! He has a full time job, and makes over $500 a week working in a grocery store. He is a really nice guy, one of the nicest, most sensitive guys i met, and would never cheat, or do anything wrong like that. He is also wayyy gorgeous, and has a smile to die for. The down fall, he is a huge pot head, and does cocaine like every day. BUT he doesn't do anything like steal from people etc to get it. But he probably spends like $200 every week on it. It has gotten better from years ago, but he still does it. It doesn't make him a bad person, and you can't really tell when he does it. And he isn't stupid like some people, cuz he has never got in trouble for it.. and the good thing is, is that when me or my kid is around, he will refuse to do it, he doesn't even smoke in front of us.

I am just asking if you would still be with a guy that does that?

  • Yes, I just have to look past the bad stuff.

    6%
  • No, that's out of the question.

    77%
  • Yes, in a heard beat.

    2%
  • Other

    14%
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Anonymous
Submitted by Anonymous at 11:41 AM on Jan. 5, 2010
Votes (48) Comments (11)

I am just asking if you would still be with a guy that does that?

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Anonymous
Submitted by Anonymous at 11:41 AM on Jan. 5, 2010
Votes (48) Comments (11)

Comments

  • Anonymous
    Submitted by Anonymous   at 1:20 PM on January 5, 2010

    I've done it before and I would never, ever, ever do it again or tell anyone I love that it's okay and that they should "look past the bad stuff". Doing drugs might not make someone a bad person but it doesn't make them a good person either. Tell him to call you when he's clean and sober. Don't try to make him change because that will cause a lot of problems. Just politely tell him that you aren't willing to risk going to jail or losing him to something like that.
    That's my opinion, anyway.

  • Anonymous
    Submitted by Anonymous   at 12:08 AM on January 6, 2010

    you're setting yourself up for heartache. you say he doesnt do it around you or your kid...but what happens when your relationship takes the next step (move in together/get married)? is he going to give it up or just do it when both of you aren't home (highly unlikely). if he really loves you & is the great guy you've described, he'll be willing to give it up for you.

  • Anonymous
    Submitted by Anonymous   at 12:37 AM on January 6, 2010

    Bad bad bad idea for you to even consider letting this relationship get any more serious. I would call it quits quick. He may be a great guy but already shows that he is irresponsible with money. Someone who only makes $500 a week shouldn't be spending 200 of it on anything, let alone drugs. Whether he swears to never do it around you and your kid or not, if you end up living with or married to this guy, it will affect your kid eventually if he continues to do drugs at all.

  • Anonymous
    Submitted by Anonymous   at 8:57 PM on January 7, 2010

    I don't see anything wrong with smoking pot, as long as it's not around kids, but cocaine is just a nooo way in my book!! IMO, no one who uses cocaine can be "not affected" by it and not addicted! and addictions just get worse...you have to buy more and more to be satisfied. $200/wk will turn into his entire paycheck, and then that's when people turn to theft or other sources for money for drugs. I say walk away now before it gets worse

  • Anonymous
    Submitted by Anonymous   at 3:17 PM on January 8, 2010

    I wouldn't want someone who visits a drug dealer on a regular basis around my children! What if he doesn't pay dealer soon enough and he comes after you or your children. What if the cops catch him when he's with you and the kids? You are risking your children's safety and your freedom for his addiction.

  • Anonymous
    Submitted by Anonymous   at 2:00 PM on January 11, 2010

    It depends on where you see yourself in the future. I dated a guy who was an addict, he worked and fulfilled his responsibilities and he was a good guy but when I got pregnant I told him he had to either quit the hard drugs and drinking all the time or say good bye to me and his kid. He didn't stop using and I left. I was living with him in Chicago at the time and I moved back to Connecticut after getting pregnant, he tried to stop me but he knew I'd fight him in court if he didn't let me go. He has a record, not for drugs but other stupid stuff and even though it was years before I met him he knew if we went to court there would be a good chance that I'd get sole custody. Our son is now 8 years old and my ex got clean only three years ago. I'm married now and have had two more kids and my husband treats my son like his own so my son wasn't missing anything when his own father wasn't around.

  • Anonymous
    Submitted by Anonymous   at 12:18 PM on January 14, 2010

    He sounds like a great guy, except for the drugs. I would have a serious talk with him, find out where the relationship is going. If he is serious about you, tell him that you want him to go to NA and get off the drugs, if he isn't then you don't have a problem! Just leave him. Good luck to you and I hope it works out!

  • Anonymous
    Submitted by Anonymous   at 10:45 PM on March 19, 2010

    The pot is fine, but cocaine is some serious shit.

  • Anonymous
    Submitted by Anonymous   at 4:34 PM on September 6, 2010

    cocaine....that's a dealbreaker for me. That's serious stuff and doing it makes you a loser, no exceptions

  • Anonymous
    Submitted by Anonymous   at 1:52 AM on September 18, 2010

    Don't make excuses for him. You know what he is doing is wrong. You can let him get his life together and hopefully become a great guy overtime. But him spending that much money on drugs is a sign he has a big problem.

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